• PR SERVICES
  • CLIENTS
  • PORTFOLIO
  • PARTNERS
  • NEWS
    • EDM NEWS
    • INTERVIEWS
    • SATIRE
  • CONTACT
EDM PR
  • PR SERVICES
  • CLIENTS
  • PORTFOLIO
  • PARTNERS
  • NEWS
    • EDM NEWS
    • INTERVIEWS
    • SATIRE
  • CONTACT
  • Facebook

  • Twitter

  • RSS

SATIRE

NEW DESIGNER DRUG ‘SAFIYA’ LEAVES RAVERS WORRIED

NEW DESIGNER DRUG ‘SAFIYA’ LEAVES RAVERS WORRIED
DANCE MUSIC PR
December 26, 2013

[wp_ad_camp_2]

dance music news blog EDM

This new drug has all the benefits of MDMA, but without the jaw-clenching, overheating and dehydration side effects.

[wp_ad_camp_1]

A brand new and highly addictive designer drug by the name of SAFIYA leaves ravers worried. Yet their parents are hopeful. This new drug has all the benefits of MDMA, but without the jaw-clenching, overheating and dehydration side effects. That all sounds too good to be true. And indeed, there is a catch..

Safiya stimulates the ANGULAR GYRUS,  a region of the brain in the parietal lobe, that lies near the superior edge of the temporal lobe, and immediately posterior to the supramarginal gyrus; it is involved in a number of processes related to language, number processing and spatial cognition, memory retrieval, attention, and theory of mind. It is Brodmann area 39 of the human brain.

It does it so well, that within 1.5 hours after ingestion, the user will experience an insatiable desire to solve math problems. This factors in so strongly, ravers will grab their cell phones right in front of the club- or festival’s main stages to open their math related apps.

It usually happens when the club- or festival photographer is right there to caption the moment after which the Safiya user will look terribly nerdy in all the related Facebook photo albums.

Safiya user

Safiya user

Extremely hurtful for ones image of professional partyrocker.

Even when Safiya users manage to oppress their feelings at the actual event and return home after picking up a chick or two, they show no interest in the girls at all. Instead, they run for their new Amazon purchase ‘Calculus with Analytic Geometry (Hardcover).’

Girls don’t like mathematicians.

Parents on the other hand find the new drug a blessing to their childs’ twisted lives and are proud of their offspring’s new found love for math and other sciences.

[wp_ad_camp_5]

[wp_ad_camp_4]

Related Itemsaddictionblogdesignerdrugedm newselectronic dance musicmathproblemssafiya
SATIRE
December 26, 2013
DANCE MUSIC PR

Related Itemsaddictionblogdesignerdrugedm newselectronic dance musicmathproblemssafiya

More in SATIRE

Bedroom DJ EDM PR News www.edmpr.com

THE BEST WAY TO BOOST YOUR DJ CAREER IS TO RETIRE FROM IT

DANCE MUSIC PRAugust 17, 2016
Read More
Carl Cox DJ Mag 100

CARL COX TO ERASE DJ MAG 100 WINS FROM BIO WHEN MARTIN GARRIX COPS TITLE?

DANCE MUSIC PRAugust 14, 2016
Read More
washing machine EDM PR News www.edmpr.com

A&R: SECRET TO SKRILLEX’ SUCCESS IS HIS BROKEN WASHING MACHINE (SHARE)

DANCE MUSIC PRAugust 14, 2016
Read More
windows media player www.edmpr.com

WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER – NOT IBIZA – PRIME CAUSE OF KET AND MUSHROOM USE (SHARE)

DANCE MUSIC PRAugust 14, 2016
Read More
LYFT deep house techno dubstep electro trance PR service

CLUBBER HAS DEEP PHILOSOPHICAL CHAT WITH LYFT SPAM BOT IN FB EVENT PAGE

DANCE MUSIC PRAugust 9, 2016
Read More
Bear Grylls EDM PR News www.edmpr.com

BURNING MAN ‘TOO SURVIVALIST’ FOR BEAR GRYLLS – CANCELS APPEARANCE

DANCE MUSIC PRAugust 8, 2016
Read More
Deadmau5 helmet EDM PR News www.edmpr.com

DEADMAU5 USES FAMOUS HELMET TO KEEP EGO IN PLACE AT PERFORMANCES

DANCE MUSIC PRAugust 7, 2016
Read More
Atheist megaphone EDM NEWS www.edmpr.com

ATHEISTS WITH MEGAPHONES SHOW AT EDM FESTIVAL; TRY AND CONVERT BELIEVERS

DANCE MUSIC PRAugust 6, 2016
Read More
Ben Klock refused Berghain EDM PR www.edmpr.com

ROOKIE BOUNCER REFUSES KLOCK AT BERGHAIN FOR LOOKING TOO CASUAL

DANCE MUSIC PRAugust 3, 2016
Read More
Scroll for more
Tap

Promoted Posts

  • LISTEN! I’ll Be Up By Max M & Chris Willis
    DanceJanuary 15, 2021
  • Toni Costanzi
    TONI COSTANZI DEBUTS TO SIRUP MUSIC WITH ‘LIES’
    BEST OFNovember 9, 2020
  • Luca Draccar presents: Flamboyant EP.
    Deep HouseSeptember 21, 2020
  • Max M Drops Feel Good & Uplifting Summer Hit With ‘Imaginary Problems’
    DanceAugust 24, 2020
  • LA based producers Colson XL team up with Vancouver’s Birdriot for genre bending single “Breathless”
    DanceAugust 13, 2020
  • Cheyne Christian teams up with Devon Marie to bring you his first full vocal song ‘Lights’
    FeaturedAugust 8, 2020
  • Feels Like Summer with Sonny Noto – LISTEN!
    DanceJuly 9, 2020
  • LISTEN! FREI SETS THE TONE WITH A BRILLIANT PROGRESSIVE HOUSE TUNE
    FeaturedJanuary 10, 2020
  • LISTEN! MYSTERIOUS PRODUCER FREI DROPS A MASSIVE PROG HOUSE ANTHEM
    DanceDecember 18, 2019
  • FENIX IS BACK AFTER A BUSY SUMMER WITH HIS NEW TRACK, ‘FEELINGS FOR YOU’
    DanceOctober 11, 2019

Facebook

EDM NEWS

  • THE BLIPBLOX – A UNIQUE SYNTHESIZER FOR ALL AGES – FOR THE AGES
    BEST OFNovember 23, 2020
  • Toni Costanzi
    TONI COSTANZI DEBUTS TO SIRUP MUSIC WITH ‘LIES’
    BEST OFNovember 9, 2020
  • 1ST TECHNO BLOGGER OLGA GODINA INTERVIEWS DSTM
    EDM NEWSJuly 8, 2020
  • Guantanomo Bae – Happy Sadness (James Jager Remix) is a Song For The Summer! INTERVIEW
    EDM NEWSJuly 2, 2020
EDM PR
Public relations agency for the global dance music industry powered by Hammarica.
HOME | CLIENTS | PORTFOLIO | EDM NEWS | SATIRE | INTERVIEWS | HAMMARICA | DANCE MUSIC PR | PRIVACY | CONTACT

© 2013-2016 HAMMARICA.COM LLC | Phone: +1-657-DEEJAYS

ARMIN WINS PARENTING MAGAZINE DAD OF YEAR AWARD
THE TOP 15 DJ MEMES OF 2013